Screenshot taken from Craigslist.org.

Today, we came across a listing that gave you the whole enchilada of the apartment details, all in one giant paragraph. While generally, offering renters more information than less information is the best practice in writing rental listings, agents also need to write concise descriptions.

Descriptive vs. Story Book

The writer of this listing tries to paint a picture in the imagination of renters. By describing the property with windows “flooding the rooms with sunshine, cheer and charm” or describing it as a “diamond in the not-so-rough,” it really just sounds like the writer is trying too hard to be descriptive, making the writing sound flowery and like a story book. This is far too much (unnecessary) information that renters will glaze over.

Renters don’t really care about how artistically you write the listing. They want to know what amenities and perks your apartment has. For example, the agent could have described the apartment having “ample amounts of natural light” instead of what was used. Don’t use ten words if five will do. You don’t need to describe the rooms as “so big”; Provide the square footage and a floor plan is sufficient and can show a lot more. Excessive descriptions are more work for you to write, and take renters longer to read. This isn’t ideal for a renter browsing through dozens of listings per day. They need quick descriptions that get to the point. 

Format it for readability.

Your listing has a few seconds to make an impression. My first impression was that this apartment listing’s description was overwhelming. Just look at it – it’s a giant block of words. If I were a renter searching for a new apartment in this area, I’d look at subject lines and pictures. If those weren’t compelling enough, I’d skip the block of text and move onto a listing that’s faster to read.

Renters don’t want to be bombarded with text. They don’t want to be thrown an essay when they’re looking for apartment details. It’s harder for readers to process large chunks of text. That’s why paragraph breaks, bullets, and lists are great for apartment listings. Descriptions divided in smaller, digestible sections help renters process information. Not only that, but it’s also more inviting to read.

The bottom line.

Creative writing may not be necessary when writing listings. If each renter spent 10 minutes reading each apartment ad to absorb and analyze the language, then maybe highly descriptive language is appropriate. However, scanning through apartment listings is a very fast process. You need to quickly get your point across, so renters can quickly read it.

To learn how to construct listing content that will help boost your conversion rate, download our free guide, “How to Create Better Listings: Writing Content that Converts.”

Screenshot taken from Craigslist.org.

This Craigslist listing here looks like it would be short and sweet, since it has a list. Lists can be great for apartment ads because it’s a lot faster for renters to scan than reading full paragraphs.

In this listing, the 11-point list doesn’t do much to help promote this ad, or make it easier for renters to get more information about it.

Extremely vague perks.

Number 1 and 5 are particularly vague. “Building” doesn’t communicate very much to renters. This could mean that the apartment is in a tall, single structure or a variety of other interpretations. “Close to everywhere” is vague, as well. What does “everywhere” mean? It makes it seem like an omnipresent unit, rather than a unit that is close to shops and groceries.

The best and fastest way to show what the apartment building looks like is to snap a picture of the exterior. This will eliminate the need to use descriptive words to illustrate how the building looks. If you don’t have time to take a picture of the exterior of the building, use descriptive words. State how many floors there are or if it’s a walkup; Just don’t only use the word “building.”

Illustrate how close amenities are by stating what is close by and how far it is. For example, say that the grocery store is 2 blocks away and the bus stop is across the street. Or you could say that the apartment is a five-minute walk away from a shopping plaza. Be specific. You could also include the unit’s Walk Score to demonstrate how walkable the property is to local amenities.

Post your pictures, renters don’t want to call.

If you give renters additional steps to learn about the property, they’re going to be turned off and look elsewhere. Requiring renters to call to receive pictures, you’re making them go out of their way for an apartment they don’t know enough about. It’ll be a lot faster for them to simply find an ad that has more information upfront.

Additionally, this professional states that he will be sending pictures via the internet. Really? What other option is there? Unless you plan to also provide the option to send pictures via snail mail (which is highly discouraged), you don’t need to state this. It only makes you seem computer-challenged. The best solution to this is to simply post the apartment photos directly in the listing.

The bottom line.

This listing needs apartment description improvement. While using a list can help renters skim through your listing, it doesn’t work well if the bullets don’t sell your apartment. Also, lacking pictures can cause issues because renters want to see what your property looks like. Renters want as many details of the apartment before taking the next step: inquiring.

For tips on how to construct listing content that converts more renters, download our free guide on ad publishing.